I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
