i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
