The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I want to fling myself into the sun
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize