I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize
