Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
