Where did you get a picture of my penis
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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