fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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