I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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