we're blogging at a bar
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
