Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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