somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
