Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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