Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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