I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
