but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
