she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
