i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
