so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
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Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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