Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
