drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
