I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
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Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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