Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
