Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
