During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
