We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just made out with a guy for $7.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
honey bunches of taint.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
