So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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