Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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