dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
