I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
