So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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