just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
