She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
