Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize