I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
