Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
