My friends, they love my intelligence
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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