my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
