You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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