My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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