how can u be prego again
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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