There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka