So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
