Only a mothe r could love this liver
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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