She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
