Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
