Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am mentally ready for anal.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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