I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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