Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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