So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think i have herpe
just one?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
