The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
