problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
