I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
