those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
PS: I just woke up from my shower
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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