Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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