My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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