pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
