i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
