Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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