and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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